MORE!
They came back after few days
I know ppl go wild for king/knight and king/jester relationship dynamics on this website but I do want to pitch: knight/jester. Loyal warrior who's not been known to suffer fools and the fool who wants nothing more than to be suffered by them, working under the same leige. Think about it and get back to me
Oops my hand slipped
I have always been partial to stories which feature the removal of many layers of clothing as an important plot element. One of my favorite Scandinavian folktales is about a queen who, through some magical conception mishap, gives birth to twins. The younger twin is beautiful and normal in every way, but the older twin is just. Y’know. A big horrible snake with arms.
When the younger twin grows up and wants to get married, the lindworm returns and insists that he, as the elder prince, must be married first. When a massive horrible snake with arms lays down the law like that there isn’t really any room for disagreement, but it turns out to be awfully hard to find a bride willing to marry him. The king and queen search far and wide for a woman who will take a husband who is 50 feet long, doesn’t have legs, and may or may not eat his would-be wives when they are appalled by him, but eventually they find a local shepherd’s daughter who is either coerced, a monsterfucker, or just very open-minded and agrees to marry the lindworm.
Depending on the version, the bride either seeks out the advice of a witch or comes up with the idea all by herself, and goes to the bedchamber on her wedding night dressed in many layers of dresses. Her big horrible snake with arms husband is waiting for her and bids her to disrobe, but she asks him to shed a skin as well. Her sexy Russian nesting doll cosplay has so many layers that by the time she is naked, he has shed all of his skins and is 1.) either a sexy naked human dude underneath or 2.) is this meaty blob of helpless worm meat that must be whipped and bathed in chemicals before he transforms into a sexy naked human dude. Either way, they presumably live happily ever after and the younger prince can finally get married.
I’d like to know how the elder prince adjusted to having a human body. He was born a lindworm and lived his entire life slithering around—he’s never worn pants! He’s never had to sit on a toilet! What’s he gonna do now that he’s a sexy 20-something heir to the throne? Is it a shock for him when he looks down and he’s just got one sexual organ? His butt is in the back now, he’s got to shave, he’s got to eat with a fork and a knife and chew his food instead of unhinging his jaw and swallowing it whole.... is it weird for him? Is his honeymoon spent learning to walk on two legs? Is his instinct to crawl out of bed and drag himself across the floor by his arms? Does he roll onto his back and play dead when he gets scared? Does he wrap his torso around his lunch and attempt to constrict it? Is his wife... into this?
This is the funniest retelling of the lindworm story I've ever heard
Which path should he choose?
The path of the warrior, the path of the scholar, or the path of the artist?
he should wander away and have a picnic while he thinks about what path to choose
Great idea! But where should he have the picnic?
Under the tree, or under the old fort?
By the sea, so he can enjoy the sound of the waves
A lovely choice!
Should he build a sandcastle to pass the time? Or perhaps go fishing?
Perhaps he could collect shells he finds interesting
Sounds fun!
Which shell should he pick up?
This one
That's not a shell, it's a tiny earpiece.
Should he listen to music? Or to the mysterious pre-recorded message?
He should give it back to the crab in the largest shell, they thought they had lost their wave-pod and are grateful he found it!
The crab wants to give a gift in return.
Should he accept the gift of power, or the gift of knowledge?
the gift of friendship :)
Friendship acquired!
Should they celebrate with pizza or ice cream?
The crab friend cannot eat either of those! Let's split a nice seaweed salad instead. :)
So many options!
Should they get tossed salad, wiggly salad, or spiky salad?
Seasar salad
Nothing beats getting it straight from the source
Should they use scissors or claws to cut the seaweed?
What about that sword in the first panel?
The circle is complete.
Through choices, friendship, and salad, he found his way to the path of the warrior. But he won't walk it alone.
Their path is just beginning, but this story is over.
Thank you to everyone who participated!
Jason: *on private line* Swanhead.
Tim: Red Hood. Don’t call me that. What is it?
Jason: Send me my location, I don’t know where I am.
Tim: Hold-
Dick: *batkids group channel* Hey Baby Bird.
Tim: Nightwing. Again don’t call me-you know what? Nevermind. What’s the problem?
Dick: I need you to send me my location, I got kidnapped overseas.
Tim: Red Hood too.
Jason: Hey! I didn’t get kidnapped, I was violently taken hostage for a minor drug deal that went wrong. Totally different.
Tim: Right.
Jason: Listen here you little shi-
Dick: Oh, Little Wing’s in Belarus. Coordinates: 53.6212, 27.94683 and there’s a bike nearby he can use to get to the aircraft landing space close by but he’ll have to be careful because it’s swarmed by mean-looking guards.
Tim: …..
Jason: Since when are the guards nice-looking?
Dick: Little Wing, when you get kidnapped as often as I do, you get to pick and choose who you like.
Tim: Not getting into that mess but how’d you know Jason’s coordinates?
Dick: Older Sibling’s Intuition!
Tim and Jason: Bullshit.
Tim: Anyway, I’ll send Batman to pick you up.
Dick: Wait, no, Batman will bring Robin and little D just went over to J-Superboy’s house to play video games.
Tim: ….Okay, then I’ll send Batgirl.
Dick: No Batgirl’s throwing it back at a frat party so don’t bother her. She’s winning.
Tim: Orphan.
Dick: No she’s busy dismantling an underground mercenary establishment in Shanghai.
Tim: I’ll-
Dick: Nah, enjoy your date with your golden teddy bear tonight. It’s also a bit of a distance to go from Gotham to Metropolis to pick up your other one.
Tim: OKAY HOW DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE’S LOCATION BUT YOUR OWN?!
Dick: ….Tee Hee 😋✨
Jason: *muffled* did he just “Tee Hee?”
Tim: ….where are the kidnappers, I gotta rescue them.
Dick: *in the background on Dick’s line: sobbing and nonstop muffled thank you’s*
Dick: Whaddya mean? They’re fine. Right, guys? *more crying heard*
Tim: Dick….
Jason: *on private channel* Shushhh. Just let him have this. Still send help though. For them.
My firm and very sincere belief that Tim Drake and Damian Wayne are the brothers that completely affirm each others paranoia fuelled contingencies for really inane situations. Its the most irritating thing ever. Like Damian will say “what if this girl scout is really just a means for someone to poison us” and Tim will instantly say “you’re so right, we need to do a homeland security level background check on the entire girl scouts chapter in gotham immediately”. The definition of bring out the worst in each other.
They’re not allowed to be in any living situation together without supervision because the last time they were left alone in the manor together, they literally created such stringent security measures that not even Alfred and Bruce could get into the house.
